| flying phoenix | [i]Edit: Da soll mir mal einer erklären, wie die Männerwelt tickt. Ich seh langsam nicht mehr durch o.O Das hier ist quasi Teil 3 der "Jungs sind schon irgendwie merkwürdige Wesen" Geschichte.[/i] [B][U]Something in Between[/U][/B] 23.5.08 This one night you ran to my house with your rucksack packed. Jokingly called me to say you would climb up the balcony if I didn’t open the door. So you stood there. Smiling. Grinning. Kissed me hello on the cheek, telling me you couldn’t await to see me. I was baffled! You were twittering and twittering and I knew you were drunk. But you’re even more attractive then. It’s probably the way you look at me, telling me so much. I made you believe I was confident. That everything was alright the way it was. But inside I was confused. And how right I was in being insecure! Upstairs we lay in my bed. Embraced, as close as we could be. You were still twittering and I listened. I so much love to hear your voice. I wanted to tell you not to touch me, to stop the things you do. But how could I while I can’t resist to paw your hair, to kiss your back and shoulders. Spending my time with you - I am fine, because you make me feel like this is serious. Being apart - Then all crushes down, because I know it’s not serious at all. Sometimes I wish I never kissed you in the first place, never given you the starter’s gun, the right to kiss me back, the right to kiss me wherever you please. My bed was such a safe place before you came. Now I look at it and I feel naked, feeling your hands all over me, getting no sleep. Maybe I can’t let you go because you’re the man of my dreams. The dreams I had before I knew you. That’s why I trust you entirely. I don’t want to lose you But you won’t let me have you. So I have to say goodbye without us ever having said hello. Those will be the hardest words in my life Because I know they will hurt me incredibly. While thinking of letting you fade away I already miss you. |
| flying phoenix | [i]Teil 2. Ich weiß, falsche Reihenfolge ;) Wie unterm Titel zu erkennen ist, wurde das hier 10 Tage vorher verfasst. Wie schnell sich die Dinge ändern, wenn man verwirrt ist...[/i] [b][u]Sonnenaufgang[/u][/b] 13.5.08 Lass mich hier liegen Lass mich fallen, fast zerbrechen. Es macht mir nichts. Mich erschüttert nichts. Ich glaub, ich weiß, dass du mich vielleicht irgendwann wieder aufheben wirst. Mich auffangen wirst. Ignoriere mich. Für ein paar Stunden. Vergiss mich. Für ein paar Tage. Sorgen mach ich mir darüber keine. Ich weiß genau, du wirst früher oder später wieder an mich denken, deine Gedanken um mich kreisen lassen. Lächele mich nur einfach an und der Tag wird so viel besser. Könnte die Sonne dein Gesicht sehen, sie würde vor Neid erblassen, gekränkt von deiner so natürlichen Leidenschaft, deinem so anziehenden Temperament. Wie sehr lieben wir die Sonne. Wir sehr räkeln wir uns ihr entgegen. Doch nicht die Sonne ist es, auf die ich schaue. Du stiehlst ihr die Bühne, den Glanz, eine Person aus ihrem Publikum. Mich. Ich hab gelernt, auf die Sonne ist kein Verlass. Und wer weiß, sollte eines Nachts die Welt vergehen ohne einen neuen Morgen, die Sonne an Eifersucht verbrannt, dunkel, schwarz und blind. Schlägst du die Augen auf, fühle ich das Leben. Hier in deinem Arm gehalten, umschlungen, ganz nah. Deinen Atem hörend, dein Herz spürend. Hier bin ich sicher. Denn hier geht für mich die wahre Sonne auf. |
| flying phoenix | [i]Der Vollständigkeit halber auch noch Teil 1. Diesmal kein Gedicht, sondern ein Text. So mit richtig vollständigen Sätzen und so. Hehe. Relativ viel glaub ich. Naja, wenn man halt so viele Gedanken im Kopf rumschwirren hat. Irgendwo müssen die ja mal rausgelassen werden. ^^[/i] [b][u]Who are you?[/u][/b] 29.4.08 You're a pal, aren't you? You should be. This is our friendship. But... Is it right to keep it on? Every time I come to visit you, we're getting too far! I once was told that body language means more than words. Do you know, what you say in contrast to what you do? You say, you don't want a relationship, but you can't wait until I come around. You say, you don't want a relationship, but you listen to every word I say. You say, you don't want a relationship, but you love to explain the world to me. You say, you don't want a relationship, but we have so much fun while romping in your bed. You say, you don’t want a relationship, but you want to share the warmth of the sun with me. You say, you don’t want a relationship, but you want me to stay. You say, you don't want a relationship, but you look at me while we watch a movie. You say, you don't want a relationship, but you put meetings with your friends off to spend time with me. You say, you don't want a relationship, but you want to nosh strawberries, pineapples, grapes and so much more together. You say, you don't want a relationship, but you want me to sit on your lap when we're sitting in front of your computer. You say, you don't want a relationship, but we both forget the time when we're together. You say, you don't want a relationship, but you put your arms around me tightly. You say, you don't want a relationship, but we always have body contact while lying in your bed and watching DVDs or eating or talking. You say, you don't want a relationship, but you're surprised when I come to you looking beautiful. You say, you don't want a relationship, but when there are friends around, you can't treat me the way you do when they are gone - because you know they would say, that this is no friendship anymore. You say, you don't want a relationship, but 10 minutes later you come to me and want to do things, which don't belong to a friendship. You say, you don't want a relationship, but we have to make rules, that we won't fall into intimacy - then something unexpected happens and we fall anyway! You say, you don't want a relationship, but you constantly touch me and can't keep your hands away from me! You say, you don't want a relationship and that you just get weak when it's getting late, but it's got a reason that you get weak! You say, you don't want a relationship, but you can't fall asleep next to me when you're not allowed to touch me wherever you like! You say, you don't want a relationship, but I always have to keep an eye on your hands - otherwise they would touch parts of me, they shouldn't! You say, you don't want a relationship, but you send me love songs and sing them to me! You say, you don't want a relationship, but tried to kiss me all over my belly and while looking at me you have every so often that kiss-me-look! You say, you don't want a relationship, but everybody I told about you tells me, that this is no friendship! You say, you don't want a relationship, but why does your body says differently? If you don't want a relationship, what the heck do you want instead? And DON'T tell me you're doing this all, because you want to be NICE! It's like making a soup without salt! Just because you're afraid that the soup could be oversalted and won't taste. But this risk is always there and you won't find out, until you try it. Is it fair, that you're so afraid of the chitchat of other people, that you leave the soup without salt? Is it fair to have fun without taking responsibility for the actions? It's always easy to say, we didn't have anything - and complicated to admit that there could be something, against all odds. Acknowledgement would mean to take responsibility and to bare the strange glances of others. You would be bound and you would have to make commitments. But you would have so much more. And this just because of 6 stupid years? Weird that I see couples around me who can make it. Though they have 6 or more years in difference it somehow works out. Logic knows ages, but emotions don't. Maybe you don't know what you feel inside, because your logic blocks - isn't it ridiculous to spend time with me? But let me tell you that logic has nothing to do with emotions. Emotions come first. Emotions are the reason why we act. Emotions are shown through your body, not through your words. Your body shows so much more, but you don't want to see it. I regret that I never looked into your eyes when you said those words. If I had, I would know if you lied to me and to yourself. I am afraid to oversalt the soup, as well. I don't know if we can make it, but I do know that it hurts, when you say, you don't want a relationship but constantly try to turn me on! We're always talking about our friend zone and swear not to trespass, but probably we didn't realise that we already went further - almost every time we met. I can't look into your eyes for long, because I'm afraid that I will see, that you want more, although you said you don't. Again, that would hurt. There are two ways: Either we make a soup or we leave it! We can ignore what we have and stop what we do or we pay attention to what we have and enlarge it. But something in-between is incomplete. Maybe you'll follow your logic and throw me away, but I'm sure, your heart will miss me somehow. This is my decision. If we can't go on as friends, because we always cross the line, than we have to lay everything aside - or take everything. Look into your soul and make your mind up. Then make your decision. Whatever this decision will be, I can live with it. Just stop holding me between those two options! There is a reason why we act as we do! Sometimes you have to start a war first before you know how you can win it. The key is to follow your heart! [i]Tjo, wer weiß? ... Vielleicht kommt ja demnächst Teil 4, 5 und 6 auf den Markt. ;) [/i] |
| flying phoenix | [i]Zwei kurze Gedichte, die ich damals für meinen DS-Unterricht geschrieben habe. (DS = Darstellendes Spiel; also Theater und so.). Was dort beschrieben wird hat also nicht direkt was mit meinem Leben zu tun, aber ich denke, die Themen, die dort angeschnitten werden, sollten mal überdacht werden. Die Überschriften entsprechen dem jeweiligem Titel der Theaterstücke.[/i] [u][b]It’s all about gender:[/b][/u] Verständnis… Geduld… Toleranz… Respekt und auch Akzeptanz Ich seh euch an, ich kann es merken All das fehlt in euren Herzen Dilemma möchte man’s nennen Ich will doch kann mich nicht bekennen… Mit der Geburt gibt man den Schwur Man ist, wie man ist – das ist Natur Doch so wie ich bin, so will ich’s nicht Diese Beine… Hände… dies Gesicht! Nur eins ist für euch wichtig Sei normal! Dann ist’s richtig. Dennoch steh ich hier… Hab Gefühle, so wie ihr! Ich bin ein Mensch wie jeder andre Und doch schreit ihr mir nach: „DU TRANSE!“ [u][b]Ein tragisches Märchen:[/b][/u] Bruder – Schwester – welch tolles Paar! Verbunden durch ein ganz spezielles Band. Gehen zusammen durch dick und dünn Reichen jeder Zeit eine helfende Hand. Doch wo hat diese Liebe Grenzen? Wie weit darf man gehen? Und woher wollen wir wissen, Wem wir gegenüber stehen? Zwei Menschen haben sich gefunden Nichts ahnend wollen sie ein Kind. Doch was ist, wenn die Eltern Gleichsam auch Geschwister sind? |
